The year everything changed
This time last year, my life turned upside down.
While en route to the Sacred Valley in Peru, my (now) husband and I received a life changing call from our family. Our condo building was on fire. We had no access to WIFI, so we waited for more news later that night.
Lucky for us our condo survived, but we knew returning was not an option. Our home was on the same power and water grid as the damaged units and the entire building needed repairs before anyone moved back in. We heard it could take a year!
I have never been good with change. It’s even harder when you have no time to prepare. We were homeless. We had to move. We had our wedding to plan. My grandma passed away while we were on vacation. I started a new job as soon as we got back to Canada. My patience and heartbreak could barely contain itself as I tried to make sense of our circumstances and our future.
Lucky for my husband and I, our family was nearby for support. We moved in with my inlaws in Langley and most of our belongings returned to our possession. We lost some items from water damage and anything we couldn’t fit in the basement went into storage.
This was our reality this year and the adjustment was difficult. There are moments I still feel sadness for our loss, frustration by delays and physically tired by longer commutes. Yet, the journey has also been enlightening. With any big change comes reflection, new opportunities (such as this blog), and learnings. Below are a few lessons that resonate the most to me.
Always be Grateful
Nevermind if it’s Thanksgiving, gratitude is not made for one day. Despite the circumstances, my husband and I still have a lot to be grateful for in our lives. From our generous families and supportive friends to our beautiful bond that only strengthens. Indeed, we are lucky!
The Illusion of Control
You cannot control everything in life, no matter how hard you try. Believe me, I have tried! Call it destiny, fate, or just bad luck, I realize some events are up to chance and you are crazy to think you can stop or change them. It’s easier said than done, but you can’t let these events stress you out especially since they are out of your control.
Patience IS a Virtue
The construction company delayed our reconstruction deadline until 2017 [insert scream]! As a Millennial, waiting for anything goes against every fibre of my being. However, I have more patience now than I did before all this mess. Maybe it’s because patience is necessary to my mental sanity. Otherwise, I’d go bald from ripping out my hair. Whatever the reason, I credit yoga for helping me develop more patience. Learning to breathe and taking moments to settle helps me every time “the woe” creeps up.
NEVER say “Never”
Once my mother-in-law joked that we could move into their basement. I whispered to my husband, “That will NEVER happen” and “I will NEVER live in Langley.” I ate a BIG slice of humble pie when we moved into my in-laws’ basement that same year.
The word “never” is so finite, limiting and unforgiving. Instead, I try to be more open to the opportunities in our present circumstances. For instance, I have more chances to bond with my in-laws. I have plenty of beautiful new neighbourhoods to explore. I have plenty of time to FINALLY start this blog (something I’ve put off for years).
GET INSURANCE
After friends and family learned of our fire, it stunned me how many friends had no home or tenant’s insurance. Many now have coverage, but it took a horrific event to open their eyes. People think bad things will “never” happen to them, but total “control” is an illusion.
If it’s too expensive, think about your other costs and put things into perspective. Would you rather have a Starbucks coffee every day or the contents of your home? I promise you won’t mourn branded coffee.
My learnings may be obvious to some, but sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to accept. I don’t know what the rest of the year or 2017 holds in store. All I hope is being a little wiser helps me navigate the change with more grace and dignity this time around.
